Divided into the relationship between the girl and her young stranger into three sections: The first section is the relationship required by work or participate in any noble project. The second section is the relationship that used to be called the relationship innocent or noble, which is based on fellowship or friendship Section III on the relationship of love between a young girl.
1 - collegial relationship between the sexes
The encounter between the men and women in and of itself is not haraam, rather it is permissible or required if the intent of participating in a noble goal, beneficial knowledge or a good deed, or a project is good, or Jihad is mandatory, or otherwise, which requires concerted efforts of both sexes, and requires joint cooperation between them in the planning, direction and Execution.
This does not mean that melts the border between them, and forget the religious restraints control for every meeting between the parties, allegedly people they angels cleansed is not afraid of them, nor them, they want to convey community west to us, but to be in this case, is to participate in the goodness and cooperation in righteousness and piety, in within the limits set by Islam, including:
1 - the commitment to lower the gaze of the two teams, and not look to the rugged, is not seen with desire, do not prolong the consideration is needed, he says: "Say to the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that is purer for them that Allah is Aware of what they do, and say to the believing women to lower their gaze and preserve representative their private parts. "
2 - commitment on the part of women wearing Islamic dress in modest, which covers the body except the face and hands, it does not describe nor heal, he says: "not to reveal their adornment except that which is apparent stamp their necks and bosoms."
3 - Commitment politely Muslim at all, and especially in dealing with men:
A - to speak, so that it is away from the temptation and excitement, and the Almighty said: (not soft desire, saying that in his heart disease and said words of kindness).
B - in walking, as Allah said: (do not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment), and be such as those described by God in his words: (suddenness, one walk timidly).
C - in the movement, there is no break or entertain, such as those who portray women Hadith (b Almmellat maa'ilaat) shall not be issued by it to be immodest class of ignorance or the last.
4 - to avoid everything that would raise and tempt of fragrances, colors and decorations that should be of the house is not for the way in to meet men.
5 - Beware of the man to be alone with a woman and not with them is haraam, has discouraged talk about it right, and said: (The third was the devil), since there may be cleared between the fire and the wood.
6 - to be meeting within the limits imposed by the need for, and dictated by the joint action without extravagance or expand out of its control of women's feminine, or offered for gossip, or impairs its duty to the sacred in the care of the house and raising the next generation. "
2 - a friendship between the sexes
Know the friendship that they need a social relationship where communication and Altbazl and visits and the dedication and cooperation, consultation and Alambattp concerns and hopes, and this type of relationship is urged to Islam under the so-called brotherhood of the Islamic, based on well-chosen friend, we need a friend who strengthens our faith, and increases in our knowledge , and Inasrna to say and to do good and right, and forbade us to say and do wrong and evil, and defend us in attendance and absenteeism, and help us as narrow and intensity, and, therefore, was: "the religion of one mistress So let one of you as a friend."
Friendship, then "contract and the Charter of brothers and pro-and Tbazl, increasing with time and experience and relevance, and not a game we're going for entertainment, and if Mellnaha left it as it happens with friendship in the concept of contemporary Valsaddaqat today in many of their models marginal superficial aimed at entertainment and gossip and the hills and spend the time, it is friendships and fellowships meet quickly and Tnfrt quickly .. had collected old .. or school, or camp, or the club, and separated: small differences in opinion or polemic words, or a dispute over a girl, or squib, or deception, or succumb to the rhythm of a third party .. and so on.
Speaking scientists and writers about the friendship as one of the reasons is pleased by the human in his life, because it is not indispensable, as it is civil in nature, and those who elaborated to explain that Abu Hasan al-Basri in his book "The Literature of life and religion", he said: "The causes of familiarity five, are: religion and descent and affinity, affection and righteousness, "and spoke of the friendship described by the Canadian said:" The righteous person is you but someone else. "
And selection based mind when you continued good friend and a religion that promotes good, and good character, must be among the righteous desire and affection. If this was the ethics of friendship between the same sex, is the friendship between the sexes in this way.
Friendship between the sexes
The phenomenon of friendship between the sexes are invading our societies as a result of the invasion of social and intellectual western that Fasht where these friendships Vkther use terminology friend mentioned (Boy Friend) and friendly female (Girl Friend), which does not reflect on the relationship of friendship is innocent, but is an affair of frantic, or a sexual relationship directly.
We are trying to raise these issues to carry out this matter, to understand the meaning of the words of friendship between the sexes, and ask: Is what is meant by the word of friendship and a normal relationship between a man and a woman, just as is the relationship between man and man and between woman and woman in the affairs of the conversation, and in the affairs of the lesson , and in the affairs of public social life?
Is the meaning of friendship is that relationship which is based on understanding and mutual respect, which are governed by the two parties need to meet for the issues of intellectual or social or political? If it is intended that, the reservations that can be Nstouheha of some Islamic moral atmosphere, and some of the provisions of the Islamic, concentrated on two points:
The first point: is that the nature of this friendship that we want to turn to the natural surroundings of the meeting, and mixing, predicted the two parties in some of the problems of legitimacy, and that this friendship can not be naturally away from the nodes that experienced by the parties, but deviating from the line Islam in some of the rulings.
The second point: that the nature of diversity among men and women can not be adjusted when the natural boundaries of friendship, because friendship is a case of certain emotional feelings go up close where the deeper, the more you felt lonely more parties. It is natural that the instinct will be to express themselves in this situation, one way or another, though ignored by the parties, but they accumulate in the feelings and sensations, to reach eventually to the explosion in one way or another.
We focus on this understanding, reserving to the friendship between the sexes, through Astehna for many of the conversations, including the following hadeeth: "What met a man and a woman only, and Satan was the third one present," This hadeeth confirms that the nature of the meeting an individual to make the parties face to face with the issue of feelings of which stem from the through diversity, and through the attraction of each type to the other type.
Even if I started this relationship is innocent in the beginning but quickly change and evolve to what is more, that is, to love and desire in the conjugations, and even if you do not reach this level, the intimate gender does not make it similar to the relationship within the same race, says the Messenger of Allah Allah be upon him: "What indeed gone a man and a woman only, and Satan was the third one present," and the entry of the devil be with is being paid to them by affinity emotional and sexual, may start the whispers, but he may not end, because the large number of meeting and Mixing between young girls and irritate the emotions and driven to evil .. In a U.S. study found that about 47% of rape victims in America were victims of the rape of friends! And about twenty percent were victims of the rape of relatives and friends of the family, in other words: seventy per cent of girls were victims of a relationship of "innocent".
This is what we emphasize that we understand it can also, through the findings of social scientists in their answers to the question on a permanent basis, which is:
You can play innocent friendship away from the sexual aspect of men and women?
1 - According to scientists answers, that the establishment of such a friendship is impractical and unrealistic, and perhaps we can achieve this result through our observations of the reality of the pension which overcome many of the border in the relationship between the parties.
2 - The friendship between men and women and that led to positive results at the level of fact, moral, it results in contrast to the results of major negative in this area, so the friendship of the cases in which the sin is greater than good; which enters in an atmosphere of hard experience, which is approaching of land, has stated in the hadeeth: "God protect the taboo, it hovered at about fever is about to fall into it."
For this, we envisage that the community believer should study these things carefully considered and realistic, not even located in the difficult experience that may be prejudicial to the parties, or community to the insured in full, we understand that morality does not need an atmosphere appropriate, we can not say to humans: close to the Holocaust and do not burn, can not be a man throw away the water and tell him: Do not get wet.
In this context of friendships fall of the friendship between the sexes and is proud of the many young people linked by ties of friendship with each other and their relationship is innocent and is linked by a genuine friendship, some even confirm that its relationship with the opposite sex better than the relationship with the sex kind.
This tells us that the innocent friendship between young men and women mix with each other may see one of the other and hear what is not able to be patient it is almost impossible ..
Common characteristics among my relationship of love and friendship
1 - to enjoy the company of the other party.
2 - accept the other party as it is.
3 - confidence in the commitment of each party to the interests of the other party.
4 - respect for a friend or a loved one and belief in the good conduct.
5 - Mutual assistance and help when needed.
6 - understand the personality of the other party, trends and preferences and the motives of his behavior.
7 - Automatic and a sense of each party that, in its nature and existence of the other.
8 - Alivsaleh on the experiences and personal feelings.
As for the systemic properties staged by the unique love affair were:
A - passion: It includes three characteristics, namely:
1 - infatuation: I mean a tendency to loving attention and concern for the beloved even when they have to engage in other activities, with the desire to perpetuate viewed and Allen \ Alhdik hoped for and with him and stay beside him.
2 - means marked by the love affair from the rest of other relationships and the desire for commitment and devotion to the beloved, while refraining from establishing a similar relationship with a third party.
3 - sexual desire: this refers to the desire of loving in the physical proximity of the other party, and touched and fondled, and in most cases is that the desire to set a moral and religious considerations.
B - Group Care: They contain two properties, namely:
1 - providing maximum care as adults to provide loving attention as much as he can when the beloved feel the need to help even if it came to the end of self-sacrifice.
2 - Defense and advocacy: The look of interest in and defend the interests of the positive and try to help him succeed.
2 - the love affair between a young girl:
Often asked the following question: Why accuse Islam of love and condemned? The answer is that Islam does not accuse and condemn all types of love, but accuse the only kind that is created and continue in the dark!!! And all that arises in the dark, choking is not the end but in the darkness of most of it, "and that Islam is not opposed to love it the Prophet peace be upon him says : «What Roii of Rak is better than the marriage»
However, Islam puts this love certain ethics and controls many of bounded out what is familiar and the slide in sin with dire consequences.
Make God love the title character and its relationship to the best nearest to him, when they will end up with Okburan - Glory - Description of relationship with them and their relationship with the Almighty, saying: "loved and love him."
And divided the love affair between a young girl in Islam into two major: only love, the love is only. Love is abnormal is to create a love affair between a man and a girl does not replace him and share this love relationship allows.
The love proper is Khab man's spouse, and there is a problem of this relationship because it is a relationship together, straight in no danger of them, and hopefully to the conditions of lovers find several models including known historically, such as Islam, we find lovers Arabs Kano love love virgin, a love-Afif al-Tahir of these, such as Qais and Layla How is the girl I love to see his uncle are outside and smell are the water, and lived in boyhood his heart becomes attached to see them, as well as Antar and Abla, or many of the pride or beautiful and Buthaina,
On top of the Prophets peace be upon them, such as:
1 - Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon him that he loves his wife Sarah Sarah great love for eighty years, however severe it needs to have children did not marry until he was asked by Ms. Sarah to marry Hagar and insisted on it.
2 - Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, who did not Isth of the Declaration of love for Aisha when he returned, "Amr ibn al-Aas" victorious from the battle "with strings", and asked him: "I like people to you?" - Thinking that it would be is - said to him, Saliallah upon him in front of people: "Aisha "!!!!!, Amr said:" I ask but for men, "he said peace be upon him, stressing his pride Aisha: her father."
This is in addition to his love of the great Lady Khadija, may Allah be pleased, and he says to Aisha, may Allah be pleased when they show him to jealousy: "I have given birth to her love "!!!!( Bukhari.
3 - the story of ashes and Bareerah were a couple ... But it soon caught the differences between them that, even ended up in divorce .. But Moghaitha regret it deeply; because he could not take off the love of his heart, and failed to hide, Bin Laden continued his liver to his sweetheart, was prowling the streets and behind ... And the tears ran down his cheeks .. And over-the sincerity of this love and beauty of slavery to the heart of the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him went to Bareerah and said to her: "If Rajotaih; it Abu child." She said to him: .. commanding me, O Messenger of God? He said to her: "I am only a kid" ... She said: "I do not need it ..
From here we must "differentiate between love as a practice, conduct, and between love Kmchaar, Vallal him if it was just a feeling but if it turned love to conduct finishing touch and kiss and wig In this case, his ruling will be forbidden and result in many negative because it is difficult to loving adjust his love."
Aziz had been a woman and women ideal city which was hit by a model of God for the love that goes beyond feelings to practical behavior.
Look at the young man to love
Before we begin to love the subject of uneven supply the following story that I mentioned-Nahar newspaper in its issue dated 21.07.2004: "Maha college girl studying chemistry and has its own way to live and do not allow one to intervene in the specificities of which does not conceal any of them from family and friends, because it is consistent with itself, she says.
It began, when she was in first grade secondary school and loves her colleague in the classroom and claims that he loves her. After the relationship extended throughout the school year and before the end of one day, his ministry at his home at his request, and it happened. "Then I lost my virginity but I did not carry the good fortune," says Maha smiling as if they recall the days of childhood and innocence cynically fully and confidently Ms. mature "Nataht" The experiences of the entire world.
The day after that night, the first in her experience and her feelings, she met in school and treated her with contempt had been waiting for its opposite. When reacted in the face and some of the insults directed to him "childish", answered in: "What an end to beat you on your hands, and I no longer want something from you." That was the last phrase I heard from him, then he moved to another school and leave them floundering in the ideas of several of remorse and regret and sadness over the summer ...
Live and love the story of Maha currently fifth in a row, and every one was having sex, but Adinmth no longer merely a young man.
Of this story can be seen some of the things you do not know that men and women are different from the combination of composition, and act in a manner quite different from its own way, and these differences in perceptions of men and women of the relationship of love these:
1 - the young man does not accept that a woman is associated with "used" even if it is used, because it occurred in the no man's land with him will not prevent anything from falling into the no man's land with others.
2 - When the young man wants to start a relationship with the girl he thinks about it as a tool or a way to dump his desire, that have seen a nationality.
3 - the young man does not want to bear the burdens and costs of marriage and this only gives them, including herself, and then leave.
The girls love to Venzertha
1 - girl's emotional to the point where they use their emotions a lot in judging things, and sensitive and vulnerable, including around, and weak and need someone who will support and stand beside them; and therefore when you love, they lose her mind and become as the game in the hands of the young man, and give it all you have without be aware of what do themselves and what you earn as a result of that!
These things are positive and negative at the same time, may change from a girl to another girl, but these attributes remain predominantly in women, which is found to a lesser extent in young people ..
2 - the girl looks at the man as a source of love, passion and power.
3 - the girl you like to translate love into marriage, not satisfied to be tool play with men and having fun is it for a while and then leave it and leave, therefore, is requested of her marriage and beg him for that.
Finally, if we tried to know the reasons why the girl to establish a relationship between Al Sheba we find democracy as follows:
1 - The need to sympathy:
Feel some of the girls ill-treatment from her family, which paid to the search for alternative, "and it was very strange, that many of the girls do not hear words of love and praise only through the no man's land!! When you hear the words:" I love you "for the first time almost her heart fly pleased with it, and also when he said to her: "You're beautiful" or "I miss you a lot," or is this from the words that should hear the girl from her parents and siblings ... even if she had heard such words Halal for the probability of being drawn behind heard by them unlawfully less . but who gets it can not hear them until you hear something strange! The father and the mother has heard of them what increases are to concerned with, and perhaps can not hear them absolutely nothing. "
Our society is very dry, and feelings may be hidden in the home except in a few of them .. When the girl looking for a place where full-time passion not only find the parents of busy work, and the busy trivial things .. When looking for someone Ibadelha feeling of love does not find at home .. And when given the opportunity to find alternative - in the absence of religion and reason - after this ... Is it surprising if it turns her feelings about the correct way?
So should the parents must show their feelings for their daughter, and show the emotions have to speak beautiful (I love you, baby, I miss you ... etc), and the kiss and touch and Vibrio parental caring .. and make sure the parents that their daughter, if any, with them what sings for no man's land, it is safe from the tricks of Almaaksin This does not mean they will be indispensable for a husband .. But it will be more resilient to the temptations of those that are not used to the sweet talk and attention at home.
We can say that the girls in our society, then a real problem in finding someone who sympathizes with them and be close to her, "imbued with the problems and concerns, and listen to the complaint and shows compassion and true love, especially when the girl is surrounded by the father far from it with each other and with formal relationship with the degree of the complaint to him; mother of excuses far from it frivolous girl dealing with her relationship so that an official can not make it to the girl friend of hers, and far from it so that the mother does not go down to the level appropriate for her age do not understand the need at this age. "
Thus, there is a need for sympathy and to listen to reason first to examine the girl who listens to it, you will find in the complaint of the young people an opportunity to vent itself, and thus get rid of the girl to her complaint of a young man from the problem of lack of heard but are located in the problem of attachment to the person who assisted in solving their problems.
2 - need to love:
Girls natural phrase for "mass moving of the emotions that are raging in many times and lived in other times, and these emotions emotion of love. And the love that I mean not love the girl to her father or her mother or her brother or other persons and things, but love is the sense of passion with which the husband - Halal - or lover - haraam. -.
This need is also present in men, but the difference between men and women that the man in control of his emotions and overcome in many cases - as we mentioned earlier - while women are unable to for this many times. The other difference that a man can satisfy this need to marry those who He loves and he does not nothing wrong with that, while women remain groaning in pain and waiting for the suitor who comes to knock on the door, but Aptllagha God's love, it will not be able to make love to a woman not to authorize it to one. "
3 - the problem of spinsterhood
Mother-love of the emotions that affect a lot of girls, a passion deposited by God in the female, and today suffers our society from a very high rate of spinsterhood, and delayed age of marriage for young men and women, and became a marriage cost the young man what can not be provided unless effort and hardship of this in addition to many complexities of other social constraints of marriage became ... too many to the point that many of the girls had reached the age to mid-twenties, she has not married yet, and some of them continue to suffer age greater than this age.
If we imagine that we will we know that this passion that worries a lot of girls, forbidden love and relationships may be the most important causes of it - in the eyes of the girl - a way to find a husband and thus obtain the children.